Flippity Trippity Favorites

So as we all know on the “Third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Three French Hens”. Again, more birds. You got partridges, doves, and now hens (and more to come). I dunno, call me crazy but to me good Christmas gifts don’t include things you have to feed, clean up after, and build coops for. At least the hens make themselves useful by laying eggs. The lyrics should have been, “On the Third Bird-day of Christmas my bird fixated stalker gave to me…” And what is a French Hen? Do the hens know they are french? If they are born in Canada, are they French Canadian hens? Do they have accents, wear berets, and eat fancy pastries? Do they look like this:

Whatever they look like, something has got to be changed otherwise you’ll be overrun by birds before the end of the song. Since your true love won’t stop buying you birds, I’ll send some help.

French Man #1: Mario Lemieux He’s a hall of famer hockey player so you know he’s in shape, he’s got great work ethics, and an egg is like a puck so you know he won’t break any when he’s fetching your breakfast in the morning.

French Man #2: Gerard Depardieu The thoughtful French man from Green Card also has some mad sword play skills as seen in Cyrano so he can protect the birds from any foxes or coyotes.

French Man #3: Chef Anthony Bourdain Sure he was born in America, but the star of No Reservations has his ancestry rooted in France which qualifies him to be French Man #3 on my list. The reason for this pick is probably obvious, he’s a chef and with so many birds around, you’ll be thanking me for sending you a French Chef. Plus he’s a darn fine writer and a funny guy.

And the book that started it all and a really great read.

Notes

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